My Mother's Worst Fear
by 8ami
Summary: Wally's mother is sick and it's all his fault. Can he hold up in the aftermath if he - the fastest boy alive - is too late to save her?
1. I Freeze Because She's Ill

**Title**: My Mother's Worst Fear  
><strong>Chapter<strong>: One. I Freeze Because She's Ill.  
><strong>Word Count<strong>: 1,553  
><strong>Pairings<strong>: None. Strong KFxRobin _Friendship_, though.  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Wally's mother is sick and it's all his fault. Can he hold up in the aftermath if he - the fastest boy alive - is too late to save her?

**NOTE**: This idea is not mine. However I did take this wonderful idea and ran with it. The original idea was created by JadeBrycin2116 in her story of _Shattered Pieces _of which I suggest you read because it's a wonderful story. I was given permission by JadeBrycin2116 to post this story.

* * *

><p>Kid Flash freezes.<p>

The team rush forward to face the robots.

Kid Flash still can't move.

All he can think is his mother's right.

He's going to die.

Just like in the failsafe simulation.

The team aren't fairing well against the robots.

Just before the robots skewer Artemis, simulation ends.

The seven teenagers lay out and monitored on the seven metal slabs sit up and with a blurry mind look around the room to find Batman, Red Tornado, and Martian Manhunter watching them raise.

"What happened?" Batman is first to break the silence. His tone is of surprise and disbelief.

"Yes, you were only under for ten minutes. You should have only just begun fighting." Manhunter states curiously. He looks from each of the teens.

M'gann is fully awake first as she slides off the table and walks over to Conner, who is rubbing his head. The boy still has problems with the simulations; he's distrustful of people entering his mind and playing tricks. Kuldar and Robin are awake and are glancing between each other in hopes for an answer. They look upset about failing so quickly. Artemis is glaring at Wally, who is holding his head in his hands relieved. Manhunter can see the speedster is vibrating.

"I, I am not sure, Batman." Kuldar steps up to the plate, "We encountered the first group of robots after disabling the first three level worth of booby traps. Our efforts did not seem adequate, however, and we were over taken."

"Those robots should have been no problem with the seven of you working together."

Before Kuldar can say anything, Artemis interrupts. Her tone is harsh. "We would have been fine _if_ it was the seven of us. Kid Idiot, over here didn't even fight. He froze up or something leaving Zatanna and I vastly outnumbered."

All eyes turned to the red headed kid who is still holding his face within his hands. In the sudden silence, they can hear him mumbling to himself.

"Kid Flash." Batman cuts silence, making the speedster jump and drop his hands. He's shaking still and his eyes are bit glossy as if he's about to cry but he faces Batman with a face devoid of emotion. He must be taking lesson, Robin thinks. He also thinks this is a bad time to try and use those lessons. "Explain."

Wally opens his mouth, then shuts it, slides off the slab of metal, looks around the room before letting his gaze drop, opens his mouth, shuts it, and seems almost frozen in place as he stares at the floor by his feet with the exception of his shaking.

"I messed up…I was thinking, not thinking, over thinking…" The color drained from Wally's face, "I really need to go." And with that Kid Flash ran pasted the three adults and six teen and out of the room. Robin was the first one to move after his friend's departure. As quickly as the Boy Wonder could, Robin followed Wally out of the room and down towards Wally's room in the cave.

Most of the teen's room other than M'gann and Conner weren't used very often. Spare clothes and some personal items were only ever left. Robin had been in Wally's room before, he usually always have his school books spread out on his desk along with a laptop and a school bag thrown somewhere in the room as if he came straight from school to the cave and today is no expectation. A picture of his aunt is thumb tacked to the wall by the light switched and his closet has a box of old Flash action figures that Robin is pretty sure Wally has had since he was younger. Robin can remember when he found them; Wally said his dad had asked him to throw them away due to some tension over Wally's power rather recently so instead he brought them here. They both laughed over this. Laughter is usually what's heard from Wally's room.

Not this time.

Robin actually hesitates when he hears what sounds like crying coming from the redhead's room, but pushes forward. "Wally?" He calls as he gentle pushes the door open and steps inside. Wally looks up from where he's sitting on the floor using his bed as a backrest. A few of his things look like he had been shoving them in his backpack as if getting himself ready to leave. "What happened?"

Robin isn't sure, Wally is going to answer at first, but to be honest they both know this has been building up for a while and if Wally doesn't start explaining soon then their friendship could become more jagged than it already has over the past few months of this building. Robin has tried to be patience over the last few months, every since that failsafe simulation, and has tried to get Wally to talk to him about whatever it is that is going on, but Wally's been keeping his mouth shut and more importantly keeping Robin – his best friend – out of what it is and his life.

The distance that had been created between the two over this issue has been hard on both teens. Robin's worried about trust and losing a friend. Wally wants so bad to tell his friend, to tell somebody but speaking the words would be admitting so much.

Robin has been patient in waiting for Wally to come to him, but he hasn't and now it looks like he can't get out of the mess alone any more. Wally needs help, even if he won't admit it, and Robin isn't afraid to push the subject now that he can see how bad things have gotten for his friend. His friend needs help and he's going to help him whether he wants the help or not.

"I froze." Wally said simply, sadly.

Robins stepped further into the room. "I can see that, Wals, but I was wondering _why_ you froze?" He knelt down beside his friend.

Wally's body shook with rotten laughter as placed a hand onto his friend's shoulder almost knocking Robin off-balance with the sudden added weight. "I-I know that…it's just." Wally's horrid laughter fell away into a short sob. Wally took a second to settle himself. "Rob, I was so sure I was going to die."

"Die?" Wally could tell even behind Robin's mask that that Boy Wonder's eyes widen is surprised and disbelief. "Why on earth would you think that?"

"Because of my mom." Wally stated sourly, "She's so sure this superhero business is going to get me killed every since I told her about that failsafe simulation where we all died. She can't get it out of her head and now I can't get it out of my head!"

Slowly, "Wally, we're superheroes it's a rather large possibility that we'll die in the line of duty."

With a sigh that seemed to rack his entire body Wally nodded. "I know that. I _accepted _that, but every time we have a conversation she starts to panic and she ends up yelling about me dying. Robin, it plays with your mind when your own mother tells you over and over again that you are going to die with so much certainty." Wally paused for breath, his eyes looking at his palm. He seemed to have forgotten about his hand on Robin's shoulder. "I know the possibility of dying but she acts like I'm already dead…that plays with my mind, Rob, it plays with my head so bad."

The room falls silent.

Robin takes one of his hands and mimics Wally's hand on his own shoulder. "Wally," The green-eyed boy looks up to match Robin's gaze. "Maybe you should take a few days off. Really talk to your mom about things?"

"My mom won't listen. She's so distraught, so far beyond repair…but maybe you're right. I should take some time off. Wrap my head around this." Wally sounded so hopeless, so tired it worried Robin to his core.

"You aren't…going to quit being Kid Flash are you?"

Slowly, much too slowly for Robin's taste, but firmly, Wally shook his head. "No, I love being Kid Flash more than I love simply running. I won't change that part of my life for anyone…but I need some time away to work this out before I really get myself killed or even worse – like today's simulation – someone else killed."

Robin found himself agreeing and offering to tell the others he won't be returning for a while so that he could return home. Wally nodded his head with a small thanks but made no notion to stand and leave. Robin figured he simply wanted to compose himself before returning home.

The Boy Wonder, slowly and uneasily, left the room and returned the simulation room where the team and three Leaguers still stood waiting for the two to return while discussing the simulation they had gotten through.

As soon as Robin entered the room the occupants feel silent.

"Kid Flash is returning home. There is a problem with his family that needs to be dealt with. It might take some time to settle, so he's asked for a few weeks of leave until things are worked out."

A little stiffly, Batman simply nodded and had the team return to the team.


	2. It All Happened So Fast

**Title**: My Mother's Worst Fear  
><strong>Chapter<strong>: Two. It All Happened So _Fast_.  
><strong>Word Count<strong>: 3,886  
><strong>Pairings<strong>: None. Strong KFxRobin _Friendship_, though.  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Wally's mother is sick and it's all his fault. Can he hold up in the aftermath if he - the fastest boy alive - is too late to save her?

**NOTE**: This idea was not mine. However I did take this wonderful idea and ran with it. The original idea was created by JadeBrycin2116 in her story of _Shattered Pieces _of which I suggest you read because it's a wonderful story. I was given permission by JadeBrycin2116 to post this story.

* * *

><p>Wally didn't leave until after the simulation had ended for the team and they all wondered to their rooms to think over their part in the simulation. He hadn't meant to stay so late. He hadn't meant to wait until the team disappeared into their rooms and the mentors seemed to vanish. He hadn't meant to stay so <em>late, <em>but he been trapped by his thoughts.

His mother was sick. Really, really sick. The kind of sick you don't get better from.

Wally has a tradition of telling his parents about his missions and training, minus a few details of course for security purpose and mental health purpose. It had been his mother's idea, so that at home he didn't feel so isolated – like he couldn't talk to them about things. They wanted to be there for him and he wanted them to be there.

On training nights, Wally's parents would simply stay up until he was schedule to return and the three would stay up drinking hot chocolate or warm milk discussing the training exercises. When he had a mission they usually talked the day _after_ Wally returned so he could rest.

It was a good set-up, one that benefited both parties, that was until Batman had the team try out that failsafe simulation and M'gann's power malfunction. Wally had died in that simulation. More than that, even, he had felt what it was like to die. And he couldn't stop himself from telling his parent's about it.

It didn't happen right away. No, it was a couple of weeks later – a couple of weeks with his mother walking around with the fear of her son dying growing every day – when the two West men started to notice a difference in Mary West's behavior.

Nothing Ralph said to his wife could keep her from crying whenever their son darted off to the cave. At first all she did was cry, but as the days went on, Mary began speaking her fears through her sobs. It was also about this time that whenever Wally returned home she would wrap her arms around him and never want to let go. She'd whisper thanks for his life into his ear. It bothered Wally, he was starting to have trouble in training when all he could think about was his mother crying and wishing him home.

It got worse. She got so sure that Wally was going to die, that whenever Wally returned home just ten minutes late she'd throw herself into a ball and cry telling her husband that she didn't want to live without her _little boy_ any more. Ralph fear for his wife sanity while Wally worried for all of theirs.

They sought some doctoral help, but couldn't go into much detail on why Mary though her son was going to die due Wally being a super hero. Ralph called his sister in hopes of her talking to Barry and getting some help from the League. The League doctors only prescribed the same thing as the normal doctors after making sure if was some villian's doing. The medicine didn't really seem to help, though.

Ralph and Wally, both, knew they simply couldn't give up so they just put in more effort.

Wally made an effort into returning home on time if not early even though it earned him some looks of disappointment from the team when he couldn't stay and talk for a bit. He made an effort to come home for a short time before going to the cave after school even thought Black Canary made him run extra laps for being late to training on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He made an effort to not say _anything_ about a hero even though it killed him not to be so open with his parents anymore. He made an effort to show his mother he could take of himself by constantly tell her that he was fine and alive.

It seemed to help, being around more simply seemed to help, but both Wally and his dad could tell it was still eating away at her.

About a month though, everything went downhill too fast for Wally to really register the helplessness of the situation and how he should have tried getting some doctors in again to help. She started having panic attacks when he simply went to school. Ralph had to take leave from work to make sure she didn't kill herself like she keep saying she'd have to do if anything ever happened to her son while he was at training. Worse though, than Mary's progress was the reason behind the sudden downhill spiral.

She asked him to quit being Kid Flash, to just come home and live normally. She had asked him to quit being Kid Flash. Wally was stunned, shocked but he knew his answer even before she had finished talking. No, he would never quit being Kid Flash. He would never just sit around and watch people get hurt that he could save. When she asked about him saving her, all he could say was that he was trying.

"You're not trying hard enough."

Ralph had heard the exchange and over the month of Mary's downward spiral he became increasingly distant from his son. Wally couldn't help but notice and when he confronted his dad about after the two had finally gotten Mary to sleep all Ralph could say was that Wally didn't see what his mother was like when he was out training or worse on a mission. It was taking a lot out of him.

"I know that, Dad. But being constantly told you're going to die isn't any fun either. We both have to deal with this and it's taking a lot out of both of us, but we'll keep going until she's better. Doing all that we can." Wally responded, tiredly. He had just came back from training to find his mother is hysteria yelling over and over again how he was dead and all the different ways it could have happened. She had gone into great detail about one scene in particular that made Wally's stomach roll.

"If you did all you could, Wallace, then you would have quit being Flash's sidekick as your mother had asked.

The respond had floored Wally. His father blamed him. His father blamed him for everything that was happening to his mother. No, no, no, that wasn't it. His father just believed he had the cure for his wife and wasn't giving it up.

Both men knew that nothing Wally said would change Ralph's mind either. Just like Mary, Ralph was stuck in his delusion.

Wally shut his eyes as he stood. He needed to get home. He was already twenty minutes late and running would take another five. His mother was probably on the floor of the entry hall praying, crying, and screaming with his father besides her trying his best to reassure her that her boy was fine while trying not to think about how all of this could be fixed if that same boy just stopped playing hero.

With his school bag over his shoulder, Wally climbed up the steps to the silent household of the West's. For the second time that day, Wally froze stock still. It shouldn't be this quite if his mother was having one of his episodes again.

In a millisecond, Wally had dropped his bag and burst through the door of his house. No one was on the first floor. Wally quickly started to make his way up the steps when started to hear sobbing. It only increased Wally's speed up the stairs.

He couldn't move. He couldn't move as he stood in the bathroom's doorway staring glossy-eyed at the scene before him.

Ralph is crying – c_rying_ – as he sat crumpled onto the floor cradling his wife body that was half-way pulled out of the bloody bath tub. Ralph rocked back and forth mumbling pleases and hopes while Mary lay so limp in his large hands.

Wally can't take his eyes away from her wrist. They're covered in blood from the large slit that ran across her wrist. He's terrified, for some reason the little rhyme of "_Remember kids, across the road and not down the road_," that Robin told him a few years ago when Goths and cutting were a big thing.

His stomach churned; however before he turned away he noticed that blood still flowed from her cuts. Her heart was still beating. She was alive.

Wally pulled his cell phone from his pocket and dialed 911 without looking down at the keypad.

"Hello, do you have an emergency?" The woman on the other line routinely stated.

Wally couldn't say anything at first. What was he suppose to say? Saying it out loud just made it so much more…_real_. He was still waiting to wake up from this nightmare. "Is anybody there?"

"Oh, um…I'm here…" Wally ran a hand through his unruly hair. "I need an ambulance."

"Can I get your name young man? And your address?" Wally rattled off both answers without thought. The answers were muscle memories, built into him at a young age. "What happened?"

Slowly, tasting each and every syllable of all the words, "My mother slit her wrists."

"Someone is on their way." Suddenly, the woman sounded much more alert. "Is she breathing, Wally?" When Wally didn't say anything transfixed. His father had finally taken notice of him. "Please stay on the li-" Wally shut the phone, letting the device fall from his fingers onto the floor.

"Wallace?" Ralph's voice was so rough, it hurt Wally's ears.

With speed that impressed even the speedster in Wally, his dad had gently laid his mother on the floor, stood, crossed the room, and connected a clean jab with Wally's chin.

"This is your entire fault! You were late! Why were you late? You knew she was sick! You knew! Why were you late?" With each word Ralph clumsily tried to land a punch on his son.

Wally was scared. He had never seen his dad mad like this before, so turn his morals were misplaced. Ralph had never placed a negative hand or said something so pointingly meant to hurt to him before. And never, have Wally felt like he deserved something terrible before.

Because it was his fault. His dad was right. He'd hit him too if he was Ralph.

Just as suddenly as the first hit came so did the last one. Ralph crumpled to the floor again out in the hallway, this time he was hugging himself though. He was still crying.

Wally realized he was crying too.

Two police officers and two EMTs showed up within the next ten minutes. It felt like hours to Wally and for once he was pretty sure his father knew exactly how he felt.

The police officers – Alexander and Sanchez – arrived first. Sanchez, who's been on the force for the past fifteen years took one look at Wally's swollen and bruised face and pulled Ralph to his feet and walked him down to the living room while Alexander knelt down beside Mary with Wally watching from the hallway. The EMTs arrived next. After stabilizing Mary as well as they could they got her onto a stretcher and into the ambulance.

Wally followed the EMTs down and out of his house with Alexander following him with a sad expression and very close look to pity. Wally didn't see Ralph until he was outside, sitting in the police car with Officer Sanchez trying to get the already grieving man to speak. He wouldn't stop crying long enough to get any sort of cohort word out of his mouth. What exactly was happening to his father went over Wally's head as guilt and worry over his mother consumed his being.

Wally was allowed to ride in the ambulance with her. He gently ran his hands through her hair as the two EMTs looked over her arms. Briefly, she regain conciseness.

"W-wally?" Her voice was so soft Wally probably wouldn't have even heard it if his mind had been anywhere else but completely on his mother.

"Mom!" Wally shouted in surprise, the EMTs started talking between themselves and asking Mary how she felt.

She ignored them. "I must be in haven. I know you died on that team of yours."

Wally shook his head as another wave of tears hit him. "No, mom, I was just late. Neither one of us are dead."

"La…late?" Her borrows furrowed.

"Yeah, mom, I was just running late." And Wally lied, "I was talking to BM about getting put on temporary hiatus. I was going to be home until you got better." While Wally knew Robin told the rest of the team that he wouldn't be around for a few days, he never really attended to talk to BM for a long term deal. He couldn't quit being Kid Flash, though he did want to try and help his mother more.

Mary smiled, it was so pretty and it hurt so much to see. Wally was sure he'd never forget it. "I'm so glad." Something flashed over her face. Later, when Wally wasn't in so much denial and not with so much hope he would realize it was pain. "You'll stay home until I get better." Her smile returned, but it was a little eerie, "Then you'll be safe forever."

The impact of that sentence didn't go over Wally's head. "No, no. No, no no no no no. Mom, no, you're getting better. You're going to get better. Please." Slowly, Mary West's eyes fluttered close. "No, Mom! Mom! Wake up! Wake up, Mom!" Tears clouded Wally's vision and one of the EMT's called time of death while the other one tried to move Wally away from his mother. Wally pushed them away as he clung to his mother's. He buried his face into the crook of her shoulder.

The two EMTs weren't able to get Wally off his mother until they got to the hospital where they pulled the stretcher out with the help of some ER nurses and the boy stumbled out after it only to be caught by one of the EMTs.

After entering the hospital, Wally didn't get to see his mother again as they wheeled her body down to the morgue. He was lead to a waiting area where he was told to sit and asked if he needed anything by one of the nurses. He didn't even respond. The nurse nodded and told to _just wait here, for now_ before leaving him there with a wary eye and the thought of coming back to check on the boy later.

Some part of Wally's super speeded thoughts turned away from the guilt of knowing his mother died because of him – no, his mother _killed herself_ because of him and the fact that he just watched his mother die with a smile on her face to actually think about what was happening to him outside his mind.

The nurse told him to wait. He didn't know what for.

Eight minutes later and a lot of self-loathing, Wally figured out what he was waiting for. Officer Alexander and Sanchez walked into the waiting room and headed straight to the redheaded boy. It was clear by their faces that they knew Mary West was dead.

"Hey, kid." Alexander tried lightly. The nickname reminded Wally of Kid Flash and his Uncle Barry at the same time. It unsettled him more than it should have.

Alexander compared to Sanchez a rookie, young and usually bright eyed the man had barely been on the force for three years. The two partners had, during that time, worked out the fact that the younger man seemed to work better with the teens and kids. Sanchez said it was because he could relate, Alexander said it was because he wasn't a hard ass.

Wally looked up to the left at the officer while he took a seat next to him. Sanchez remained standing. "I'm sorry for your mom, kid."

To save his sanity, Wally ignored the comment and turned to Sanchez for a moment. "Where's my dad?"

The two officers exchanged looks, Alexander placed a comforting hand on Wally's shoulder catching the boy's attention. "Kid, your dad hit you. That's against the law and very wrong; he had to be taken down to the police station."

Wally didn't appreciate being talked down to like some…_kid._ Hell, he was a god damn superhero. He saved lived and understood the cruelty of the world just as much as these two officers of the law before him. He also didn't appreciate what they were saying of his father.

"He was upset and blamed me for my mom's…" Wally couldn't say it just yet. He clenched his fist to stop the sudden wave of hurt. "He'd never hit me before. Never. Now let him go."

Alexander shook his head, "That's not how it works. He hit you and while he is admitting to it which will help him the fact of the matter is he hit a minor. The worst he'll get is five years in prison and a fine. He'll get his hearing in two-five days until then we need to find you another place to stay."

It didn't matter, thought Wally, where he'd go. He screwed it all up. His mother was gone and his father rightly blamed him…his father was going to jail. Prison where Wally sends so many criminals was going to house his father for at _least_ a few years all because he lost his temper _once._

Sure Wally got along better with the man before he got powers but it was hard for anyone but Uncle Barry and Jay to truly get along with Wally, to understand really. However hard it was, though, for the two to relate they went out of their way to spend time together. Ralph was known to have a temper in general and a bigger one when he's drunk but Wally never once was on the end of Ralph's anger. Frustrated, annoyed, disappointment sure, but anger? Never.

"Hey, kid?" Alexander pulled Wally from his thoughts. "I asked if there is any other family members close by."

"Oh," Wally answered falling into numbness. "I have an aunt and uncle in town. Aunt Iris and Uncle Barry." He pulled his phone out of his jean's pockets and handed it to the officer. "Their numbers are in there. I don- don't want to be the one to call them."

Alexander nodded as he took the phone and stepped away from the other two as a look of recognition passed his face. "Barry Allen? The lab tech. related to the news's anchor?" He asked.

Wally nodded all feeling gone from him. He found the numbness pleasant compared to previous emotions of guilt, shame, pain, and sadness. Alexander came back, "Your aunt is on her way, okay. You can go home with her tonight but in the morning I need you to come down to the station and tell us exactly what happened tonight, alright?"

Squeezing his eyes shut, Wally knew that was going to hurt, but he agreed with a nod of his head.

Sanchez greeted Aunt Iris at the hospital's entrance and filled her in on what the officers knew before finding Wally in the rear waiting room. As soon as Iris set eyes on her nephew she froze. He never looked so…so sad before and Wally West and sad didn't really go together. Instantly, she ran across the room leaving Sanchez at in the doorway to wrap her arms around the teenager.

Iris thanked both the officers before taking Wally home. She led him straight to the spare bedroom where she laid him down. Before she even left the room Wally had passed out. She thanked whatever essence responsible for that. The boy obviously could use some sleep…she just hoped Wally's sleep was more peaceful than his reality.

Iris walked down to the kitchen where she started pulling out ingredients for snicker doodle cookies. They were Wally's favorite. As she pulled out the floor and spices, she stopped by the misc. draw of the kitchen to pull out an ordinary-looking headset that she hooked onto her right ear.

"Barry." She tapped the ear piece; it burst to life with a small beep. Within a moment, her husband was on the other line of the emergency communicator.

"Iris?" Barry, AKA the Flash, sounded incredible surprised. Worry was leaking into his voice. He was on monitor duty up in the Justice League Watch Tower tonight. Iris knew that and she also knew that the importance of contacting him while on such on duty was reserved for emergencies only. "Is something wrong?"

Iris didn't even know when she started crying but she could hear it in her voice and was sure Barry could to. "You need to come home."

The Flash was on his feet and calling for someone to replace him in seconds. He was home in forty-eight more where he found Iris crying in the kitchen as she mixed cookie batter. She told him everything the officers told her. He simply held her until she stopped crying. Neither of them slept for the reminder of the night.

In the morning, Barry went to wake Wally up around eight an hour before the officers wanted Wally down at the station to find the boy already awake and staring out his window. "Wally," The boy turned away from the window to look at the man who Wally always thought was his own hero. "You should take a shower and get ready to go down to the station, alright kiddo?"

It took another six minutes before Wally nodded in agreement and started to move.

Down at the station the officers from the previous night meet the three of them in the police station lobby before leading them into the depths of the station and to Alexander's desk which had been cleared of most things. A notepad and pen lay on the desk.

"You sit here Wally and write down everything from the previous night." Alexander stated as gently as he could. Wally sat down in Alexander's desk chair took the pen in his hand and simply sat for a moment.

"It's alright kid. Take all the time you need." That was Uncle Barry with a hand on Wally's shoulder.

Slowly, Wally wrote down everything from him coming home late to the ride to the hospital. While he wrote down that Mary was sure he was going to die and couldn't live without him, Wally skipped over the fact exactly why she thought that. He wouldn't compromise his secret identity, not even now.

It killed him writing down that his father hit him; it killed him more actually writing it down out of his mind that his mother's death was his fault. He tried to make it as clear as possible that his father had ever right to hit him – that he'd hit himself too if he could – that it was only a few punches and that he had _never_ hit him before. He hoped it was enough.

Iris and Barry took Wally home after he signed and dated his statement.


	3. How Long Will It Eat Away At Him?

**Title**: My Mother's Worst Fear  
><strong>Chapter<strong>: Three. How Long Will It Eat Away At Him?  
><strong>Word Count<strong>: 2,920  
><strong>Pairings<strong>: None. Strong KFxRobin _Friendship_, though.  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Wally's mother is sick and it's all his fault. Can he hold up in the aftermath if he - the fastest boy alive - is too late to save her?

**NOTE**: This idea was not mine. However I did take this wonderful idea and ran with it. The original idea was created by JadeBrycin2116 in her story of _Shattered Pieces _of which I suggest you read because it's a wonderful story. I was given permission by JadeBrycin2116 to post this story.

* * *

><p>Around three, Barry told Iris and Wally that he would need to find Batman and tell him that the speedster will be taking leave for a short while. He was out the door before they could say anything.<p>

Iris turned to look at her nephew who sat at the island. He was staring at the plate of cookies in front of him. She didn't think he really saw the cookies.

"Wally, dear." She went around the island to wrap her arms around him. "Everything will be alright." She could only express a sigh of relief when he hugged her bad.

"Will it really get better?" Wally sounded horse against the silent of the kitchen.

Iris doesn't say anything and they sit there for a while as Wally starts to whisper how he wants his mother to hug him and how he wants to be back home with his father. Iris could only rock him back and forth as her nephew whispered over and over again.

It wasn't long for Iris before Wally pulled away. "I need to be go, Aunt Iris. I need to know something." Iris didn't even get to say anything before Wally ran off and she felt a cold hand grip her heart in worry. She couldn't even really grasp what just happen right away. When she did, she called her husband.

The Flash had gotten to Mountain Justice in record time after learning that Batman was currently speaking with the team over new training practices to help improve after the previous day's simulation. He stepped into the old conference room, with the teen's paying close attention to the Dark Knight and Black Canary who was explaining the finer details of the new training practices.

No one paid him mind at first, "Batman I need to talk to you concerning myself and Kid Flash." He now had the entire room's attention.

"What is it, Flash?"

Flash didn't plan on telling Batman everything, maybe not even enough to make a proper assessment but he wondered if he should be telling Batman _and_ Wally's team. He opened his mouth to ask if Batman would mind stepping outside for a moment outside of Superboy's hearing when the computer announces Kid Flash's entrance.

Barry's face erupts into shock that the entire room can't help but notice. Flash didn't even pay them mind as he turned to see Wally running up towards the room. He ran passed Flash and stopped a few feet into the room. He looked terrible and it showed on his teammate's faces.

"Robin." He matched his green eyes to Robin's concealed ones. "I need to talk to you. And you might not like it, but" Wally couldn't stop the fact he was obvious choking up, "I-I really need to know."

"Wally, what are you…" Barry tried uneasily as he put a hand on Wally's shoulder. Wally didn't even seem to notice as he waited for Robin to answer. Robin looked to Batman for answers and when none came through, he turned to Flash and when an overwhelming feeling of worry came off of the speedster Robin turned to Wally. He knew just from looking at his friend that the worry was justified.

"You can ask me anything, KF. You know that."

Wally looked relieve, like he actually thought Robin would actually say no. "Not here."

Robin followed Wally out of the room and all the way across the mountain to Wally's room in the mountain. Robin recognized the sign of Wally wanting some place he recognized as safe. Even safer than just being among friends.

Wally turned around and shut the door behind them. He adjusted his shirt and paced around the room with Robin standing in the middle as he worked up the courage to ask what he wanted to. Robin took the opportunity to really take a look at his friend.

Wally West had bags beneath his eyes like he hadn't slept very well which given what Wally told Robin yesterday was likely of what happened. He didn't think he could sleep much either if Bruce keep telling him how sure he was that his little bird was going to die. Hair disheveled, hands shaking, and red eyes as if the speedster had been crying but that's not possible. Wally didn't cry. Then again, Robin thought, Wally didn't stand with his shoulders slouched or with his head tilted down either.

"Does it still hurt to think about _them_?" Wally's shaking and unhitched speak pattern broke Robin from his thoughts. However, it was the words themselves and not the way Wally asked that made Robin's heart quickened.

Did Wally really mean…? Sure, Wally had know of Robin's secret identity for a little over a year now and there was bound to be some curious questions still about Richard Grayson's life, but they both decided they would cross those bridges when they come not force them. Especially the bridges that involved his parents. Robin was sure that Wally understood that he'd go into greater detail about what happened and how he's dealt with it slowly over time…didn't he understand it hurt to bring up?

Robin couldn't help the scowl, but looking at his friend he was reminded that something had happened and his friend wasn't in his right state of mind. Maybe he needed this...and the two young heroes had always been there for each other before. This time was no different. "Sometimes. Most of the time, though? No." Robin pushed the words from his mouth. "Sure, I miss them, but I often find I need to celebrate their lives more and not grieve their deaths as much."

A look of – was that relief or fear? – cross Wally's face and Robin can't help but add the, "Why?" to his little story.

Wally's eyes never dropped from Robin's. He matched his gaze with everything he had. "My mom committed suicide and my dad's in jail for hitting me because it _was_ my fault." It was quick but painful, the words and Robin saw Wally flinch.

Robin's eyes widen, his whole face fell into shock and disbelief before being shaken away by concern for his friend's mental health. "Wally…I'm so sorry." And Robin completely understood why Wally asked about his parents now. "I'm sorry, but KF it does get easier. It might not feel like it," Robin crossed the small distance between the two and laid a comforting hand on Wally's shoulder. "but it totally does. Having Bruce, the team, and you around helps."

Wally nodded knowing his friend wasn't lying to him and finding a small bit of comfort in that. Maybe things would get better.

They were silent for a moment, "My dad has a hearing in a few days…will you come with me?" Robin tried a slim smile as he agreed. "Wouldn't miss it."

Flash made sure to explain to Iris not to worry when she called, explaining Wally was at the Mountain with him. That they'd be home soon. Flash then lead Batman away from the rest of the team as Black Canary started to go into even finer details of the weeks planned training sessions as a distraction.

When Flash and Batman returned to the room, the team burst to life with questions but none of them was answered. Batman just told them they that Kid Flash would be on leave for a while longer than originally expected and for the team to head to the training room so that they could make up for the loss of member in combat from here on out.

"What about Robin?" M'gann questioned. "Will he be joining us in training today?"

As if summon, Robin walked through door followed by Wally. They both stepped around the two Leaguers, but only Robin continued further into the room. Wally stopped beside his uncle, almost leaning into him for comfort of family.

"Yes, I will." Robin shot a short glance to Batman and it was clear to them both that they both knew what was wrong, but neither said anything in front of the other teammates. When Wally was ready he could tell them. Robin would never force a secret out when he had so many of his own.

Flash took Wally home shortly after that where Iris fussed over Wally for running off like he did.

* * *

><p>The Dynamic Duo arrived home earlier for a Sunday night, and sat down for the dinner Alfred had prepared. However, both were a bit uneasy over the news they were given several hours earlier by the pair of Central speedsters.<p>

"Wally asked if I could go with him to his father's hearing." Dick's voice was soft as it broke the silence.

Bruce nodded approvingly. He heard that tone before. "Sounds like you've already made your decision."

"He's my best friend." Was all Dick answered with even though he didn't have to. Bruce understood where the two boys stood ever since Dick asked if he could tell Wally his real name. Bruce understood the bonds of friendship and trust. He also knew that Wally West – as careless, goofy, clumsy, and smart as he is – was a hero in every right. A young man that rightly deserved the trust given to him. It pained Bruce, Dick could tell, to see him in such distraught.

* * *

><p>Two days later, Wally went to his father's hearing with Robin, dressed in civvies, on one side of him and his aunt and uncle on the other. The four of them sat in plastic chairs behind a wooden barrier. On the other side of that barrier there was the judge in his stand facing two rectangular tables. One of which sat Wally's father and his attorney and the other the prosecutor. The two responding officers, Alexander and Sanchez, also sat in the plastic chairs behind the barrier. They both greeted Wally when they came in.<p>

Since, Ralph admitted to hitting Wally, the hearing was mainly to determine the sentence he would be receiving. While in the end it was up for the judge to decide the harming of a minor usually resulted with the minimal being two years with a fine.

For a short while the prosecutor, a tall woman by the name of Anne Willows, and Ralph's attorney, Paul Jackson, argued back and forth trying to peruse the judge to their side. Then after a ten minute recess the judge called both responding officers, Wally's father, and then Wally himself to talk before him.

Wally had stumbled all the way through his statement and started to cry near the end. As he returned to his seat, Ralph reached out to him before being stopped by his attorney. Wally sat back down, cleared his tears away as Robin rubbed his friend's back.

The attorney and prosecutor were given one last chance before the judge called for another recess before making his final decision.

Out in the hallway, Wally and Robin stood a short ways away from Wally's uncle and aunt. The two adults watched them with concern but stayed their distance.

"How are you holding up?" Robin asked gingerly, Wally's testimony playing over in his mind.

Wally shrugged with a grimace. He was getting better as the days went by, but with today's trail and tomorrow being Mary's funeral – in hopes that Ralph would be acquitted and be able to attend – Wally wasn't so sure if his progress would continue.

Sure most nights he didn't sleep more than three hours and more often than not he still felt numb or guilt over everything and break down into tears, but there was also small gaps of time where he would find himself with a small smile on his face as he thought about the team or there was that one night when he got a full seven hours of sleep and wake up refreshed. It was getting better, but it still hurt. Wally wasn't that hurt would every go away.

"It will get better." Robin stated unknowingly echoing Wally's uncle from that morning.

"I know." He didn't sound very convinced.

Gingerly, "Wally," Robin couldn't get Wally's testimony out of his head, "this isn't your fault. Your mother was ill."

Wally's head shot up, matching Robin's eyes before Wally turned away shame written on his face. How could Robin really believe that? And it was clear by the small glimpse of his face that Wally took that Robin _did_ believe that.

"I know she was ill, Rob, but you can't really tell me this isn't my fault. She did this because of me. I was late, Rob, and she decided she couldn't live with the fact that I was dead."

"But you weren't dead. You were late." Robin took a step closer to his friend so they could talk with their voices a little lower, "Everyone is late once in a while, Wals. She was ill, the fact that she fixated on you was just bad luck. The same thing could have happen if she decided your dad's job at the plant would get him killed. She was ill. It wasn't your fault." Robin kept repeating the main points as fact hoping to get Wally to see them as such. If one keeps repeating something then there must be something behind it.

"Yet she focused on me. I knew what was happening, I knew to be home on time and yet I stayed late at the mountain that day. I knew better!" Wally hissed, finally meeting Robin's face again. "It was my fault."

"You knew she was ill, but you didn't know the extremes of that illness. This isn't your fault."

It must have been the repetition or maybe it was the firmness in which Robin stated his believe. Maybe it was Wally knowing deep down this really wasn't his fault or maybe Wally was just tired. More likely, considering Wally was a boy of science through and through he simply needed another possibility before discarding the only one he had. Whatever it actually was though, Wally broke. He threw his hands to the sides and barked loud enough to catch the attention of his guardians and the two officers talking with Barry and Iris, "Then whose fault is it?"

Robin took a deep breath. "No one's. It's no one's fault, KF. Sometimes things happen for no reason and that no one can stop from happening. This is just one of those times."

Slowly, a little unsure, and very heavily, Wally nodded.

Recess ended and everyone filed back into the room with Robin rubbing soothing circles onto his friend's back. Ralph, Paul, and Anne already sat at their tables. The room was eerily silent as the judge stood to stand.

"While the circumstances were extenuating the harm of a minor is inexcusable, Mister West." Ralph nodded solemnly as Iris grabbed onto Barry's hand for support. "I sentence thee to a year in prison with parole and a seven thousand dollar fine that will be used to pay for your wives funeral of which you are free to attend. Your sentence will begin this Friday. Report to Central City Court House at three o'clock then."

The prosecutor and attorney gathered their belongings shook hands and paid their respect to Ralph and Wally for their loss – Anne's was a little less forced when she spoke to Wally rather than Ralph. Ralph crossed the wooden barriers, and threw his arms around Wally embracing him.

"I'm so sorry, son." Ralph kept repeating into Wally's hair. Wally didn't say anything, simply hugged him back as if his life dependent on it. Suddenly, Ralph pulled away putting Wally at arm's distance. "I was wrong, you know, this isn't your fault. Your mother's death wasn't your fault."

Wally didn't even get a chance to respond before being brought into another hug.

Just after dinner with everyone settling into bed soon – it was deemed better for both West men to stay at the Allen household and Robin staying the single night so that he could attend the funeral tomorrow with Bruce flying in tomorrow morning to attend – Wally laid down on the pull out couch with Robin on the other side of him and Ralph in Iris' and Barry's spare bedroom.

Wally looked over to Robin, whose sunglasses were off, eyes closed and soundlessly sleeping. He wondered how long it took after everything with his own parents before he was able to sleep so peacefully. He also thought about how Robin and his father had taken every opportunity they could to tell him Mary's death wasn't his fault.

Robin was one of the smartest people he knew with Bruce and Uncle Barry taking the two leads if he was set so hard on something maybe he should take into consideration more. His father loved him, Wally knew that, and was a stubborn man that was not afraid to admit when he was wrong. He had blamed Wally in the heat of the incident but had amended such tale.

Maybe if they both believed something so fully then, maybe, just maybe, Wally should take a second look into it. Maybe – and Wally really hoped so – it wasn't his fault that his mother killed herself.

Wally hoped he would be able to remember this over the next few weeks. He knew they were going to be harder than anything he's ever faced but he had his father's support, his friends, and his family for support. Robin said it helped having those people around for him, Wally was sure it would help him too.

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>/ I think I may have rushed this ending. I'm not sure. Tell me what you think, please. Oh, and all my work is unbeta'ed so all errors are mine sadly.


End file.
